Guarding solitude

"I hold this be the highest task of a bond between two people: that each should stand guard over the solitude of the other."
-Rainer Maria Bilke.

I read this quote on someone else's blog today. I loved it and immediately sent it on to Bob. We are always working at managing the balance between togetherness and solitude. It is such a hard concept once you get married and sometimes you don't realize the need for solitude until it is too late. When we first got married I feel that we lost ourselves in each other and I think within the last few years we have realized the NEED for individuality, remaining who we are, and how that can contribute beautifully to a marriage.

I always wonder what our kids are going to see in us. I can't think of anything more reflective than having other people live with you and know you and look into your lives. How will they say we connected? Did one of us give in too much, lose ourselves in the other? Or do we remain ourselves and greater capable to love WHO the other person is? I hope it is the latter, we are sure working toward that.

Separate time is always good for us. We always come back more refreshed, more in love and thankful for the other person. We reconnect with God, who we are, and the things that he is speaking to us individually. I am realizing that a good relationship does not mean all time is spent together, but rather who each of us brings to the marriage, which is reshaped by solitude.