Reality

I am a new mom. And I can't keep up in general, but especially with luxuries like a blog ;)It feels more like pressure than fun, so I have decided to post pictures on facebook because it's EASY. And my mom can download them which makes me feel good because she stops asking me to email them to her. Which takes more time. Plus my picasa is full and I don't want to pay money each month or take the time to delete pictures so I can upload more on the blog. Therefore, for a while all pictures will be on facebook and all random rants and raves will be here (if there is time for ranting and raving). Ah, motherhood! I love it, but it is a timesucker.

Why is bacon so good?

Saying I don't eat pork, but I eat bacon is about the equivalent to saying I am a vegetarian but I eat fish. But the truth is, I don't eat pork, except bacon. Anything that good is worth eating off any animal. Heck, I would eat oppossum bacon if it tasted that good. I don't much like bacon on it's own (too salty, greasy, and guilt inducing), but IN something, now we're talking. Here is a new recipe I tried tonight and I can't get enough of it. It's BLT pasta. Yum! Bob thinks it's a bit on the girly side since it doesn't have a thick sauce (funny how food can be girly, right?)but I argue that since it has bacon it can be considered gender neutral. Here it is. Please try it, you won't be disappointed: BLT Pasta 6 servings 8 oz bacon 1 box penne pasta 4 tbsp olive oil 1 medium onion, diced 1 bag fresh spinach, roughly chopped 1 bunch red chard, well cleaned, sliced 2 cups cherry tomatoes, halved 1/3 cup fresh basil, torn (I used dried) 3 tbsp white balsamic vinegar 1/2 tsp each salt and pepper 1. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to boiling 2. Cook bacon in a large skillet for 10 min over medium heat until just crispy. Remove to a paper towel lined plate. Reserve 2 tbsp of the drippings in skillet. 3. Meanwhile cook penne in boiling water for 11 min. Drain. 4. Add 2 tbsp of the olive oil to skillet with bacon drippings. Return to medium heat. Add onion and cook 5 minutes. Add spinach and chard and cook 4 minutes until wilted. Stir in cherry tomatoes, cook 2 minutes. 5. In a large bowl, toss penne, bacon, spinach mixture, basil, remaining 2 tbsp olive oil, the vinegar, salt and pepper. Enjoy!

Caiden in June...a video

Here is a video my brother made when he came to visit back in June:

Caiden Fisher Mehaffey; June 2012 from tyler wohlford on Vimeo.

The bird

Found Caiden asleep like this the other day. My sweet Caiden, 2 months old and flipping the bird.

Officially old

No, I didn't have my 30th birthday. Yet. However, I am officially old as of Wednesday because I was diagnosed with shingles. Yes, shingles. They do have a vaccine for it, but you have to be 50 before they give it to you. Which means I have a disease of 50 year olds (not that that's old mom and dad, just older than me). When the doctor walked in she said, "Oh your eyes are so red have you not been sleeping?". I replied, "I have a newborn." All she said was, "Oh." Then she saw my rash and heard my symptoms and in a compassionate voice told me I had shingles. I told her that I thought shingles was for older people and she said it happens when someone's immune system is weak, which is usually in older people, but sometimes in those younger. Apparently taking care of a child weakens your immune system. Who would've thought? Ha!

Yesterday was awful. I told Bob it was worse than labor (which is an encouragement to my pregnant friends). I only got out of bed to go to the bathroom, to which I crawled. Luckily Bob took off work and stayed with Caiden but it has been hard on all of us. I am taking meds so I feel MUCH better today and have gotten some time with my babe. I know he missed all of my silly songs yesterday so I am having to catch up on them today. I am sure Bob appreciates that too :)

While we are on the old ailing body topic, I know you have been holding your breath about my mole. It is benign, so no worries there. Next time an update on my digestive system. Just kidding.

A visit from Grandma and Grauntie

 My mom and Aunt came in for a much needed visit about a week ago. The weather was perfect and we had a lot of fun and a lot of rest. They were able to stay with him on my first day of teaching so I didn't have to worry about a thing. Above is us having a picnic at our old apartment complex down by the river. Caiden and his Grauntie Shelly are both enjoying their picnics. Below is Grandma holding sleepy Caiden.

 Grauntie feeding Caiden a bottle after touring and oil and vinegar shop (free samples!)

 On a walk through the nearby woods.

 Halls family on the porch.

Above is a picture of the adorable blanket Grauntie Shelly made for Caiden.
Thanks for a great visit Grandma and Grauntie!

Cotton eyed Joe

A little while back Caiden started this stomping move with one of his legs so we started singing the cotton eyed Joe song (we have a song for everything). We showed my mom and aunt when they were here and it prompted recorded him doing song and dance. Viewer discretion advised: not sure if this is cute or cruel but it will be good blackmail someday! When Bob showed this to one of his friends he said, "Isn't that child abuse making him listen to that kind of music?" Enjoy...

2 months young

When we text my dad a picture of Caiden the other day, he replied to Bob's phone, "Someone's getting chubby..." and Bob responded, "I didn't think I was gaining that much weight." Of course it is our little one who is doing all the growing. His looks are changing so much and he is getting bigger by the second. At his two month checkup, pictured here with his papa, he weighed 12 lbs 14 oz and was almost 2 ft long (tall?--when does it change from long to tall, when they can stand?).
Some highlights:
*he smiles like crazy
*he likes all sorts of sounds and songs
*more awake time (which can sometimes be a lowlight when he is fussy or we are tired)
*sleeping longer at night
*loves to stand up and bounce around

It's strange that it has only been 2 months since we brought him home. It seems soo much longer. We can't believe how much we love him. It is a different kind of love than we have ever felt.

Lord, help me to laugh

Lord, help me to laugh (so I don't cry) was the prayer I uttered at 8 a.m. after 2 minutes of using the breast pump to which I had not attached a bottle, leaving a pile of milk on my lap and side. I can attest that mommy brain is real. Last week I cooked an elaborate breakfast for dear friends coming in from out of town only to realize when they were half an hour late, that I had been off by a week. I did the same sort of miscalculation with a conference Bob had, resulting in a friend having to watch Caiden last minute and me having to leave him with someone outside of family earlier than I had planned. Comic relief in these situations, or rather, finding the comedy in them is the only thing that helps me get by.

Caiden has been waking up only once at night, usually right around 4 a.m. and I have felt somewhat normal again. Last night he decided he wanted to get up at 3, 5, and 6:30 to which I may or may not have said to him in my whiniest voice, "Come ooooon, kid." It didn't help that he often doesn't realize that what he gets his milk from is attached to me and he tries to take it with him when he pulls back hard. BUT when he gives me that oh so genuine smile or makes a laughing noise right at the punchline of my joke (coincidence?--I think not), it melts my frustration and impatience. For the most part. I am glad someone (besides Bob) finds humor in my stupid silly songs that all seem to have the same chorus (Where is Thumpkin and Three Blind Mice) and the ridiculous faces and jokes that I make.

I think parenting is a good time for me to start taking the journey of laughing at myself. Lord knows there have been and will be MANY opportunities.

Here Grandparents

 I have been trying to capture more pictures lately of the everyday especially now that Caiden is making more faces and just changing so very much. I know at least his grandparents appreciate seeing all of this and I think I will look back and be glad I took these pictures too.

 It hasn't quite been as hot here lately but usually if we are just home Caiden doesn't wear clothes. He doesn't seem to mind and we thought we would train him early to be a minimalist. Minimalist, not nudist, please don't read that wrong.

 He is so expressive and we are staring to be able to read him better. He is very fun but makes everything take twice as long as it normally would. Without fail, whatever time we decide to eat dinner; he decides it's time for him to eat too. Babies have a knack for knowing when timing is not good and then they want to be held or fed, etc. They sure do teach you good lessons in selflessness. And they learn how to train you as parents. Two nights ago, we swaddled Caiden up good in hopes that he would sleep longer in the night. He sure did--almost 6 hours straight. But I didn't. I was worried that he wasn't waking up. Bob reminded me that was the hope, but I still couldn't go back to sleep. I pulled out books to see if it was normal for a 2 month old to sleep that long. Then I loosened his swaddle so he might wake up. And he did. And ate. Then woke up again later and I wished I had just let him sleep because I was still tired in the morning! And of course, the next night when I gave myself the pep talk over how great it would be to have that many hours in a row of straight sleep, he went back to his old pattern. Oh, that trickster. However, today, Caiden missed his opportunity for poor timing when he slept through us playing tennis with another couple. We just put him in his stroller with a blanket over him and got to play for a while. I joined a team that starts in September so I had to work on getting my groove back.

 Caiden is starting to like baths. And naked time. Maybe he is becoming a nudist--but I won't post pictures of that. We love seeing him wrapped up in his towel. Doesn't get much cuter than this.
Grandma Nadine sent these adorable socks a while back, and while he hasn't needed much clothing, his feet were so cold the other day so I put these on and had to take a picture because they are so cute.

 Later in the day we did put clothes on him when we went out to eat (we do know SOME boundaries) and people mentioned how cute his socks were. Thanks Grandma!

 Since Caiden was a breech baby, he had an ultrasound yesterday to determine if he has hip displacia (spelling?). We will find out the results soon. It was strange to have him being ultrasound-ed instead of me with him in my belly!

 We took a few mug shots of him today hoping to catch a smile, but no such luck. The boy does not perform. Guess we don't have an actor on our hands, which is fine by me.

 Below is midway through a sneeze. Now photographing that takes talent, or luck. Maybe I am getting a little better?

 My blue eyed boy. Counting down the days until they can't change anymore.

 This is what he has to say to so many pictures!

On a side note, I am turning 30 in November and used to dread it but not so much anymore now that I have Caiden. I did feel old a couple of times this week though. Once I was walking through Target in the baby boy section which turns to toddler then teenager then man clothing and I found myself getting choked up thinking of all the stages Caiden will go through. And hoping that skinny jeans for boys will be totally out by the time he is an adolescent. The second time is when I went to the dermatologist for them to check out a mole. Really, can't believe I am in that stage. Pretty soon I will have a pill box and be drinking prune juice daily. Anyway, the dermatologist had to remove the mole because it wasn't looking too great, and this demoralizing conversation ensued:
Dr: I am just going to remove the mole to be safe and send it off to the lab
Me: But I have had it since childbirth (thinking too, which luckily I didn't say out loud, that I wouldn't get to see it one last time or say goodbye. I truthfully wanted to take a picture, but again, I do have SOME boundaries, or social graces so to speak--although maybe not so much since I am admitting it here anyway)
Dr.: Well, it's kind of nasty. It's not exactly a beauty mark
Me: Ouch (to which I promptly stayed quiet after that)

Well, a few more months and on to my 30s, which I hear are really great even if they are full of mole removals and all.

Much needed vacation

 Our friends invited us last weekend up to a cabin in the North Georgia mountains. It was the retreat and vacation we had been longing for and we were so thankful.

 I should've taken pictures of the inside because it was absolutely gorgeous--3 stories with plenty of room to relax, hang out, and have fun.

 We took walks, ate good food, watched the Olympics and had a wonderful time enjoying each other's company and the beauty around us.

 Bob and his son.

 My sweet Bob took Caiden one morning so I could sleep in and when I woke up I found them hanging outside on the hammock.

 We took Caiden on his first hike of many more to come. He was a trooper. He slept the whole time so he didn't quite get to enjoy it as much as we did. There were two beautiful waterfalls on the hike--my favorite.

 Here we are with the Bellos and their wonderful family. It is fun to have other people with kids because we are just getting the hang of it (not really) and it is neat to watch others parent and play with their kids. They are wonderful parents to their little ones and I am excited because Jess will watch Caiden for a couple of hours on Wednesdays when Bob and I are at work. They also speak Spanish so we got to practice our skills. Jess said she would speak in Spanish to Caiden when he is over there. A bilingual child. Maybe his first word will be madre instead of mama :)

 The second waterfall.

View from the porch outside our room. It is amazing what God's nature can do for your soul.

Around the house

I am not very good at picture taking--meaning, I don't take them frequently. I always have good intentions but when you are just doing normal things it does not cross your mind to take a picture of them. Enter grandma. My mom, being so far away, can only stand it for about a week without an updated picture of Caiden. And while I realize somewhat that he has grown, I don't see how much until I take new pictures. He is starting to allow us to set him down more and has more playful time and smiles. Let the fun (and more work since he is sleeping less) begin!

Tummy time

This BIG boy just had a checkup and has gained 3 pounds since his birth--weighing in at 9lb 15 oz and is now 21" long. The doctor (did I tell you her name is Dr. Heaven--how sweet is that?) said we should start giving him more tummy time so that he can get stronger head and neck muscles, although this kid has never had a problem with that. He never had that wobbly head that many newborns get. Anyway, he likes tummy time for a few minutes and then is like, "Hey, why did you leave me here like this?" One step at a time...

A Day in the Life

This is the hardest "job" I have ever had. And the sweet times are the sweetest I have ever had. In no way could I have anticipated the range of emotions that motherhood brings. It highlights my strengths and unfortunately the areas where I am broken. It puts so many things into perspective. Right now I feel exhausted and peaceful. Caiden is asleep on me and despite today being strage for his eating and sleeping patterns, I was able to do things that feel like I am not only "mom". I am excited about the homemade bread that is about to go in the oven to share with friends over dinner. And I can't believe how much longer it took to make for the many breaks I needed to take.

More than anything, the frustrations I have are at myself. And what God is teaching me through this glorious and difficult season. I am finite. And I hate it. I cannot do or feel or act in all the ways that I want to so very badly. My body is more tired and sluggish than I had anticipated 5 weeks after delivery. I am more work-oriented than I want to admit and parenthood makes me slow down. It makes me realize that I cannot do it all, or even if I do all that I want in a day I have nothing left to give to my husband and child. It makes me look at what is important. And sometimes I am frustrated because if I am honest about what I think is important, it is not always what is good or right.

It is crazy to think that Caiden will be with us forever. Not always in our home, but with us. Our family is going to be the greatest sense of both community and ministry that we will ever experience and I often don't feel equipped for the task. It is amazing how much I can love this little person who has nothing to give back. It is also amazing how selfish I am and how much I am used to doing what I want when I want.

My days go by fast, way too fast. And I cannot get done all that is on my to do list. I actually stopped writing to do lists, but I can't seem to stop writing them in my head. I am trying to stay in the present and see what the Lord has for me there--in tiredness, in nursing, in carrying him on my belly (again), in not taking showers until midday, in naps at random hours (8 am nap anyone?). It feels so unnatural to me, this new life, and I am sure there will be a day when I can't remember it otherwise.

For now, I am thankful. Thankful for my sweet son strapped to me and fresh bread :)

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl

We sure had a full weekend--lots of time with people which was both fun and tiring. On Sunday, we were invited to sweet Juliet's 12th birthday party. I fell in love with this girl who was in my class last year. She has some incredible health issues but has allowed God to mold her through her suffering. Some of the things she would share were more powerfully spiritual than many adults that I have met. It is such a pleasure to know her. I looked forward to seeing her each week and the fun shoes that she would wear. Happy birthday sweet girl!