Schmorgasbord of color--no blocks of white!

Today I organized my closet. Color coded it actually. My friend Jennie would be proud. But I don't like it. It looks like Jennie's closet, not mine. Although we have half of the same clothes anyway, by accident mostly. Although one time we went shopping and bought the same shirt on purpose. Then we both wore it on the first day of school when we co-taught. It was fun.

Anyway, seeing my closet color coded makes me nervous for some reason. It feels like it has lost its spunk of color and pattern woven throughout. I actually get to see how many white t-shirts I have when they are all in one chunk. I still don't think you can have too many, but my closet is trying convince me otherwise. And then Bob can come in and argue that I do have too many because half of the shirts hanging are white. Which you cannot see when they are interdispersed.

Well, it was a try. I guess it will go back to the old organization soon enough. Which really isn't much organization at all. Except maybe tank tops to the left, then short sleeves, then long, then sweaters. With skirts and dresses on the bottom. See, I am organized after all! How do you "organize" your closet?

Be Still My Soul

We went to a Wednesday night service at a beloved church the other night, where they set aside the whole time for space to listen to God, journal, pray, and hear music (no preaching). At the end, they sang this song and I was so moved by it. After I told Bob that I often feel that sometimes my anxieties take over what my soul knows as truth, and you do have to commit your soul to be still and remember.

Here are the lyrics and below is a link to the song:

"Be Still, My Soul"by Catharina von Schlegel, 1697-?Translated by Jane Borthwick, 1813-1897

1. Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;Leave to thy God to order and provide;In every change He faithful will remain.Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, FriendThrough thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertakeTo guide the future as He has the past.Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;All now mysterious shall be bright at last.Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still knowHis voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul, though dearest friends departAnd all is darkened in the vale of tears;Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,Who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repayFrom His own fulness all He takes away.

4. Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening onWhen we shall be forever with the Lord,When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9zHn4QSH-8

May your soul be still today even in the midst of whatever is going on.

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

Why is peanut butter and jelly so good? I sit here eating one with an iced latte and really nothing could be better right now. Well it could, if I were on a beach with Bob eating a peanut butter and jelly but that is beside the point. Whoever created this is a genius. Once in highschool I ate peanut butter and jelly for breakfast AND lunch for a month. Why is it considered a kid's food? Are kids the only ones that can enjoy something delectable? Come on people, it's time to bring pb&j back. So next time I come over to your house for lunch, I am going to expect this high quality food.

When Bob and I first got married, one of the running arguments we had was over how peanut butter and jelly should be made. I made it the "normal" way of peanut butter on one side and jelly on another and then marrying the deliciousness by putting the two slices of bread together. But Bob challenged what I had always done, urging me to make his pb&j with both elements on each side. Preposterous--but absolutely delicious. I finally gave in once I got over a)the fact that he was right b)it is double the peanut butter and double the jelly, making a bit of a more high calorie sandwich. Now I don't make it any other way. No more soggy bread because the jelly bleeds into it and then is nowhere to be found when it is supposed to be combine with the peanut butter. And the pb&j mixture sort of seeps out with every bite, which in my book is awesome. So, if you can get over Bob being right and adding some extra calories to your sandwich, try it!

Sad

My heart is so sad right now. Over the last few weeks I have heard countless stories that just break my heart. Both my hurt and the hurt of others can make me feel so overwhelmed. I am amazed at how much pain we suffer in this life and how we still, somehow are able to overcome and have moments where we really live. Sometimes I don't want to be an adult. I want to go back to childhood to the moments where I was carefree. But even when I think back to that, I realize that life was still painful and I now still suffer the wounds that began in childhood. I feel like the more people you know in life the more pain you can feel because you enter into other people's stories that aren't perfect, who suffer. And relationships themselves are painful. These are the times I feel a strong push to allow myself to mourn. To realize that life, myself, my family and friends are not all that I expected. God is not what I expected. And yet there is still beauty, there are still moments of joy and freedom that are glorious because they are escapes from pain.

But today I hurt. I hurt for myself, for the things that have happened to me and for the things that I have caused that are not beautiful at all. I hurt for the stories of others, the circumstances they are in, either afflicted on them mercilessly or based minorly on things they have chosen. It cannot be escaped. I cannot change these circumstances for my friends or myself. But I can enter the fears it brings up in me, and notice the ways that I constantly try to distract myself rather than face the reality: it hurts and I need to mourn. But sometimes there aren't tears. What do you do when there are no tears? Can you still mourn?

I appreciate when friends share their pain because it is connecting. It helps me to know I am not the only one who suffers, the only one who makes poor decisions, the only one who feels like they sometimes have to pretend like they are okay or people will think they are too much.

So today I am sad. I am sad for your story and sad for mine. I wish things were different, that we felt different. But I have learned so much. And so have you and I am glad we can share what we have learned and know that we will never know it all but we get to be on the journey together.

Colorado

We stopped in Denver for a few days on our way back to Atlanta to visit with our good friends the Strobels. Kelli and I have been keeping in touch for years through writing (yes, by hand) letters but haven't gotten to see each other much because they have lived in Scotland and then Denver for the last 5 years. It was such a pleasure to meet their little one, Brighton, and to share life with them for a few days. Brighton was such an awesome baby, very easy going and fun to be around and it was really fun to watch Kelli be mom. She is such a natural! Aren't we cute with Brighton above. Someday soon, Lord willing, we will be our own cute family!

Brighton especially took a liking to Bob.

We went to Garden of the gods, a rock formation area, walked around, and had a picnic lunch.

Bob calls these the praying hands.

Our friends Whitney and James from Atlanta moved to Denver a year ago so we got to catch up with them over dinner at their house which was really nice.

Bob had never been to Colorado before and I had only been when I was young. It is so beautiful there, very home on the range-ish. It also is so dry and because of the elevation, very difficult to breathe. I made the mistake of going on a run there. I was so exhausted by the end! It was a hard adjustment coming back to humid Atlanta from dry Denver. It made me realize that there are so many beautiful places you can live out there. I was so happy to see that a couple of friends have made a life out there for themselves and really enjoy it. It is fun having friends all over to visit.

California love

These pics are not in order, but we flew into Orange County and spent about a week with family and friends there, and then we headed up to San Luis Obispo to see Tyler.
My friend Carrie has a traveling gnome she sent with us. He likes to see different parts of the world. He met friends really easily in San Luis Obispo :)

Jerome on the beach in SLO

At the Avila Pie Barn. This place was so fun. They had animals and a shop there. It was so southern that I keep wanting to go back there thinking it was in Georgia then I have to remember that it was not.

With my bro.

Picture of the beach on our train ride to SLOBob and I on the beach. It was cold!The bench in SLO where Bob asked me to be his girlfriend about 10 years ago!! So crazy!

At a vineyard near SLOWine tasting.

With the Whitsells!

We did so much more with family and friends and I am so sad that I don't have pictures of it all, but alas, I am not good at remembering (or desiring really) do pull out the camera everytime we hang out with people. I am working on it!

Dad's visit and Bob's Graduation (Again!)

We went to Dialog in the Dark, an experiential museum into what it would be like to be blind. This quote was on the wall, and I liked all the levels of its meaning.

Here was our guide and us with our walking sticks. We didn't get to see our guide until the end, we first met him in the complete dark and so it was very interesting to put a face with the voice and what we kind of pictured him to be like in our mind. The crazy part is that even in the light, he didn't really get to do that with us. All the guides are legally blind, most of them have no sight but our guide had a tiny bit of sight. He had lost it about 6 years earlier from disease.

The bodies exhibit Bob and I went to a couple years ago was right by Dialog in the Dark.

Bob and his friends.

The proud wife.

The proud father in law (trying to steal his food??)

We had such a great time with my dad out here and celebrating Bob and all of his hard work these last couple of years.

Spring

A few of my favorite things:

Open tulips

Red barns

Carrie's birthday cupcakes

Carrie's Easter gift to us

Visiting my cousin in Charlotte and going to a fun thrift store

Duel toilets in the girl's bathroom. Which would you choose?

Bed and breakfast in Dahlonega

Meghan and Ricky visiting Charlotte from CA--we got to see them and my cousin that weekend!

10 mile hike on the Appalachian trail

Flowers!

Long time coming

Things have been a whirlwind here for us lately so the next
few posts will be a recap of the craziness that is our lives. Here is a quick
list of some of the things that have happened in the last few months (some
pictures will be posted as well.

*We had a beautiful spring full of many colorful flowers and
blooms. We decided it was probably our favorite season.

*We spent Easter with friends this year, eating Bob’s
homemade chili and Carrie shared her birthday cupcakes. We got to try something
like 10 different flavors from a local cupcakery.

*We’ve spent a lot of time hiking in the beautiful weather.

*Bob graduated from Richmont (yeah!) and my dad came out to
celebrate, so we took a lot of time exploring new parts of Atlanta.

*Bob got a full time position at a counseling center about
30 minutes outside of Atlanta. It is funded by a church and therefore we had to
move churches.

*We are looking to buy a home (yikes!)

*We went to CA and CO to visit friends and family for 2
weeks this summer.

*We just celebrated our 6^th anniversary and we've now been together 10 years!!