Tummy time

This BIG boy just had a checkup and has gained 3 pounds since his birth--weighing in at 9lb 15 oz and is now 21" long. The doctor (did I tell you her name is Dr. Heaven--how sweet is that?) said we should start giving him more tummy time so that he can get stronger head and neck muscles, although this kid has never had a problem with that. He never had that wobbly head that many newborns get. Anyway, he likes tummy time for a few minutes and then is like, "Hey, why did you leave me here like this?" One step at a time...

A Day in the Life

This is the hardest "job" I have ever had. And the sweet times are the sweetest I have ever had. In no way could I have anticipated the range of emotions that motherhood brings. It highlights my strengths and unfortunately the areas where I am broken. It puts so many things into perspective. Right now I feel exhausted and peaceful. Caiden is asleep on me and despite today being strage for his eating and sleeping patterns, I was able to do things that feel like I am not only "mom". I am excited about the homemade bread that is about to go in the oven to share with friends over dinner. And I can't believe how much longer it took to make for the many breaks I needed to take.

More than anything, the frustrations I have are at myself. And what God is teaching me through this glorious and difficult season. I am finite. And I hate it. I cannot do or feel or act in all the ways that I want to so very badly. My body is more tired and sluggish than I had anticipated 5 weeks after delivery. I am more work-oriented than I want to admit and parenthood makes me slow down. It makes me realize that I cannot do it all, or even if I do all that I want in a day I have nothing left to give to my husband and child. It makes me look at what is important. And sometimes I am frustrated because if I am honest about what I think is important, it is not always what is good or right.

It is crazy to think that Caiden will be with us forever. Not always in our home, but with us. Our family is going to be the greatest sense of both community and ministry that we will ever experience and I often don't feel equipped for the task. It is amazing how much I can love this little person who has nothing to give back. It is also amazing how selfish I am and how much I am used to doing what I want when I want.

My days go by fast, way too fast. And I cannot get done all that is on my to do list. I actually stopped writing to do lists, but I can't seem to stop writing them in my head. I am trying to stay in the present and see what the Lord has for me there--in tiredness, in nursing, in carrying him on my belly (again), in not taking showers until midday, in naps at random hours (8 am nap anyone?). It feels so unnatural to me, this new life, and I am sure there will be a day when I can't remember it otherwise.

For now, I am thankful. Thankful for my sweet son strapped to me and fresh bread :)

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl

We sure had a full weekend--lots of time with people which was both fun and tiring. On Sunday, we were invited to sweet Juliet's 12th birthday party. I fell in love with this girl who was in my class last year. She has some incredible health issues but has allowed God to mold her through her suffering. Some of the things she would share were more powerfully spiritual than many adults that I have met. It is such a pleasure to know her. I looked forward to seeing her each week and the fun shoes that she would wear. Happy birthday sweet girl!

Baby on Board

Andrea (the one holding the baby) had a shower on Saturday. Her babe is due at the end of October and will be another surprise baby. She got lots of practice holding Caiden at her shower. We had lots of yummy food at her shower and it was nice to spend time with one another. I didn't think I was a fan of games at baby showers--the image of candy "poop" in diapers comes to mind--but they played some fun ones including molding play dough into a baby. Kelly had a great creation (top) and Carrie created one that looked like Caiden so I had to have a picture.

Tis the season for babies (everyone getting closer to the big 3-0) and I just found out that my friends Amy and Erin are both having boys! Friends for Caiden in Africa and California! And on a side note, do you think the "Baby on Board" stickers people have on cars are funny? As if we don't have to be careful with all the crazy adults out there in cars, but when there is a baby on board, we better make sure not to tailgate, cut each other off, run into each other, etc.

Cloth wipes

When she heard that we wanted to attempt cloth diapering, my friend Beth gave me a bunch of diapers and cloth wipes. I have bought my own covers and at first thought using cloth wipes would be ridiculous. However, seeing how many wipes get used up so fast, as well as the cost of them, and the fact that I am doing laundry almost every day anyway, I decided to give them a try. I found a wipe solution to make online, mixed it up in a tupperware, and put in the wipes. I have loved them. They are more solid and work better than the flimsy disposable ones and don't make any more laundry for me since I am doing it anyway. If anyone is interested, the solution is simple made from things you have at home anyway:

1 cup warm water
2 Tbsp baby shampoo/wash (however, I found this to be a bit much and will use less next time)
1 Tbsp olive oil
A few drops essential oil (optional)

Mix together and put the wipes in to soak, that way they are wet when you pull them out.

Some wipe solutions are used to spray on the wipe before wiping but I have liked this because it is already done by the time I start using it. Happy wiping :)

First date

We met some friends through the Bradley birthing class that we took who had their daughter exactly two weeks before Caiden was born. It is really interesting how similar our labors were as well, and we both delivered at the same hospital. This last weekend we got to introduce our little ones to each other for the first time. I got to see baby Reese when she was first born and it was amazing to see how much she had changed over the course of a few weeks and how much Caiden might grow in just a couple more. Overall, I would say their first date was uneventful. Caiden slept through it really until Reese started crying and then he joined in. I guess that is somewhat eventful, maybe an indication that it didn't go to well?

We are sad because we just found out that the Perrys will be moving to Orlando at the end of the summer, so obviously our getting together won't be very frequent. But for now we have been thankful for their relationship and that they are in the same stage and have the same parenting ideas that we do.

Cow Appreciation Day

As our family waited in line at Chick-fil-A with dozens of other people dressed as cows, we laughed at what the general public--including ourselves of course-- will do for a free meal! Once a year, Chick-fil-A, our favorite fast food restaurant since moving to the south (In-n-Out is still incomparable to anything fast food) gives you a free meal for dressing like a cow. If you know Bob and I, we love anything free, and for some reason having a baby allows you to lose inhibitions you MIGHT have felt before. So the three of us printed out the "costumes" from the chick fil a website and off we went. Even Caiden, despite his protests, wore a few spots.

One month

I can't remember if I brushed my teeth today. I really can't. BUT I have kept sweet Caiden alive (with the help of my spectacular husband) for one month.

It is difficult to remember what life was like without him although he's only been with us a short time. We love just watching him and all the faces he makes, the way he protests to certain things, and his overall preciousness. Here is some of what we know about Caiden after month one!

*He likes to sleep, which we are thankful for. It is starting to get harder to put him down at night because he fights going to sleep, but overall we haven't had too difficult time in this area.
*He gets hiccups when he eats too much or when he eats too fast, which is almost every time.
*He can burp like no other. Seriously, sometimes I have thought that he is going to deflate and fly across the room with the belches he procures.
*He is a groaner, as mentioned in a previous post.
*Can babies have sleep apnea? Because if so, he does...He makes the cutest little chirping noises in his sleep and Bob calls him chipmunk. I laugh when I picture a baby wearing one of those CPAP machines for sleep apnea.
*It takes him a while to get used to new things--car rides, being put in a sling, walks in a stroller, but after a while he starts to like them.
*He loves sleeping on anyone's stomach/chest and prefers to be held rather than set down.

The pictures above document Caiden at month one and the last one is thrown in for good measure, because he is not such an angel all the time. The crying is much cuter in a picture than in person though.

$15 coffee table

Bob and I had been looking for a coffee table on craigslist for a while (we never buy new--always start with craigslist first because you can find brand name things for half the cost) but couln't find what we wanted. So I started scavenging at every Goodwill I could come across. And one day I found it! This baby was calling my name at $15. However, because I am afraid of making the wrong decision, I walked away. Then I drove home, decided I wanted it, turned around and went to get it! A coat of my favorite paint for furniture (also the color I painted Caiden's changing table) and voila! the perfect coffee table. I love how it looks like a door or a window and because it was cheap, we aren't afraid of ruining it. Painting furniture has become my new thing because it instantly transforms an old piece into a new one. Confession: I painted A LOT during my pregnancy. The doctor told me it was okay as long as the room was well ventilated. It still felt weird to me, but I did it anyway. Hope there are no lasting effects on sweet Caiden!

A lesson in patience

 This is what our house currently looks like. Well, actually it is a little "updated" since then. In these two pictures, there are green shutters (the originals) on top, and black on bottom. Doing work on the house has been moving slowly around here for numerous reasons, but mostly because we have had to put our money elsewhere. I guess having a child does that to you. So the funds we had allocated for painting our house are now in our car and the unexpected takes we had to pay--thanks Uncle Sam! Anyway, lest I complain too much, I am thankful that I have a willing (aka crazy) and able husband who has volunteered himself to be our painter, at least until we can afford to get someone to do the rest of the house. So he has diligently painted the shutters black, the door yellow, and will be moving on to the white trim in the front. It is difficult to tell in this picture, but there are some slats near the yellow door painted a shade of light gray, which is what we have decided on (the goal and dream look is the last picture in this post).

 It has been very difficult for me and a season of learning to let go and not care what others think. There are slats all over the house painted different colors from boards replaced and trial paints. We had no idea we would have to wait this long (and keep waiting) to have our house painted. We have the privilige of being the house on the corner that everyone drives by to get into our subdivision, so everyone sees our progress, or lack thereof, on a regular basis. I really didn't realize how much pride and vanity I had until we bought a home. I have really struggled with what others think of the outside of our house and I have to keep letting go of that. I am excited when neighbors want to come inside because then at least they can see all that we did in there. It's interesting the things God uses to point out sin in your life. This house has really been one of them for me. It has been a great lesson in learning to wait, seeing what is important, and being wise with money. Thankfully, our friends don't care at all and still visit us anyway!

Isn't this dreamy? Someday I hope...

Surprise!

Okay, sorry that this video is sideways and it looks a little pixely. If you aren't a parent, it might be gross (heck, it is sort of gross anyway) but I find it hilarious. Bob and I get most of our laughs from watching this little guy, especially when we are burping him. His face is so full of surprise and confusion. We always wonder what his little brain is thinking.

Any resemblances?

Thanks to Grandpa Dave for making these side by side images. Do you see any resemblances between Bob and I as babies to our precious one? From the moment I saw him, I felt like he looked similar to me as a baby, especially through the eyes. Although right now he has gorgeous blue eyes like his daddy (I am REALLY hoping they stay).

Even though the kid looks more like me, he has other areas where he is more like his father. Caiden is a groaner. He groans when he is asleep and when he is awake. He groans when he is happy or upset. He just like to groan, as does Bob. It is one of those things I have never understood with Bob. I feel like I am spending time with an old man. Bob groans when he sits down. He groans when he wakes up. He groans in the shower (instead of singing I guess?). He just groans. And now I have two groaners. What am I going to do?

What the public wants

I told myself that when we had a little one my whole blog wouldn't become about them. However, right now this is all I do, so it is the only thing I have to blog about. And apparently some of you love this face almost as much as I do and want to see the pictures keep coming, so here you go! Thanks to my mom who got a new ipad and declared herself Caiden's personal paparazzi.

Maternity Pics

It seems like forever ago since I was pregnant. Yesterday, Caiden turned 3 weeks old but the days seem to have stretched into much more time than that. The weekend before Caiden was born, we had these pictures taken. Thank goodness we didn't wait any longer or we would've missed it. A friend from Bob's school who does photography as a hobby took them for us and we are so grateful! For the most part, I loved being pregnant and thought that I would miss it, but I really haven't. I think it is a grace that at the end of pregnancy it is so uncomfortable that you no longer desire it. I thought I would miss feeling the baby kick inside of me but there are so many more rewarding things having him on the outside. There is a specialness though to pregnancy mostly in how everyone treats you. I mean, when else will you have strangers come up to you and tell you how good you look? And if you weren't pregnant and they did, that would be weird.

My mom and I were in Costco the other day and I had left baby Caiden at home and there was a sadness for me because no one knew my situation. No one talked to me about the baby because they didn't know I had one. I was just normal again and it was strange. I realized there was a goodness to this--you can't be special all the time or it wouldn't be special. Also, going from pregnancy to having a babe means a shift in the specialness. No longer am I noticed, but the little one. And that is okay, lest I may have become prideful. My thoughts and prayers go out for those who long for pregnancy and it is not happening for them in the timing that they planned. That is an awful feeling, and I only know a small taste. May the Lord show you your specialness in other ways.